April 2010
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Down towards the healing.
What does a moment in which laws, rules, and limits temporarily cease to exist feel like?
I’m caught somewhere between the mesmerizing lights and the soothing sound of your voice. This feeling almost reminds me of a fainting experience I had a couple of years ago in the middle of Barnes & Noble Bookstore. I passed out cold right in the middle of the history section, next to the aisle...
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So I've decided.
This next chapter, or period of my life, is going to be about taking risks. It’s going to be about “doing me”. It’s going to be about expanding my mind, opening my heart, and breaking down the barriers of fear that stunt my growth as a woman— as a human being. It’s going to be about living, experiencing, and jumping off the cliff, while building my wings on...
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“You could be my unintended Choice to live...
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“There’s too many people you used to...
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Pencil and Eraser
Pencil: You know, I'm really sorry.
Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
Pencil: I'm sorry, 'cause you get hurt because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller every time.
Eraser: That's true, but I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though, one of these days, I know I'll be gone and you have to replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad :)
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Man.
There’s so many thoughts I wish I could express, but I’m not yet comfortable enough with myself or others to try and convey them.
It’s such a shame too, because now that I’m at a stage of my life where my thoughts are organized and I’ve improved upon the ability to channel them through writing, I don’t want to out of fear of negative reception from others....
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This is such a badass song. Maynard James Keenan...
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“I’ve got a tight grip on reality, but I can’t let go of what’s...”
– Paramore.
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my life according to The Smiths.
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. You can’t use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It’s a lot harder than you think! Repost as “My Life According to (band name).”
Pick your Artist: The Smiths Are you a male or female: Pretty Girls Make Graves
Describe yourself: Bigmouth Strikes Again
How do you feel: Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I...
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I completely forgot about this song until I heard...
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closure.
I finally signed the divorce papers yesterday. I’m going to be a Fenton again soon. Naturally, I’m left with a lot of emotions surrounding it. Grief over the loss of a marriage? Yes. Mourning over what could have been, but won’t ever be again? Check. However, anger or regret? No.
He was the love of my life. The person I thought I’d give arthritis medicine to eventually....
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“Heaven help me for the way I am, save me from these evil deeds before I get them...”
– Fiona Apple.
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Lulz from last night.
Me: Yeah, I have a deformed miniscus.
Julio: I'm deformed too, but I'm afraid to tell you what it is because you might think different of me.
Me: What is it? I promise I won't.
Julio: I have a tail. It wraps around my legs to my feet... but it starts from the front.
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Everything is so crazy right now.
I’m pulled in so many directions and I’m not sure what the hell I’m doing anymore. What I want, what I need, and what I can’t have are three different things— it’s a Venn diagram of emotions at this point. Part of me just wants to vacation to a Buddhist monastery for a month and clear my head. A week, even. Just to get away...
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You don't form in the wet sand... I do.
It’s 4am and my head is caught in the clouds, but I don’t mind. It’s going too fast, it’s going too slow, it’s never enough, it’s always too much. I’m comfortable, I’m uncomfortable, it’s clear, it’s hazy, I’m crazy, I’m sane, I’m sure, I’m unsure… it’s all of these things and more, but I like it.
I...
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Breathe.
I’ve been having the time of my life, but life in the fast lane comes with it’s inevitable speed bumps.
So, I gather it’s time to start slowing it down a bit. I like living in a rush. It’s a thrill. It’s what I do. But turning down the notch just a little wouldn’t hurt.
I’ve been making some amazing, profound connections with certain people and...
